Sex

Background

In my quest for ideas leading to a more efficient, more productive and less bureaucratic society, I have made an interesting discovery. We spend a huge amount of resources bickering about sex.

Our legislators spend a lot of time trying to regulate sex. People spend a lot of time striking down and rewriting laws. People sue each other over sex. We spend a lot of money locking up people who had sex in a way we feel is not "moral", or simply talk or write about sex in a way we feel may offend someone else. And a lot of people use sex in an attempt to get even with each other (the Lewinsky fiasco would be a telling example).

This is sad for two reasons:

• There is nothing inherently wrong with sex. Sex is fun. Sex is healthy.
• Bickering about sex takes valuable time and resources away from more noble or productive pursuits.

As a society, it is about time that we started accepting that simple fact.

Most people will agree that sex is fun. That is because every human being is programmed at birth to be interested in, and to enjoy sex. The desire for sex is a fundamental part of being human. Sex is an important part of life, an essential ingredient of happiness. Sex is a natural way to relieve stress.

Sex is associated with pursuit of beauty and art.

And sex is free!

Religion has contributed a lot to the negative connotation of sex. It is unfortunate. Back in the ancient times of the Romans and the Greeks, things used to be simple. There was a goddess of Love and Beauty and Fertility (Aphrodite, or Venus), and that goddess saw no problem with sex. Actually, sex or the desire for it ("lust") was not considered fundamentally different from love; it was just all part of the same, complete experience. People happily pursued both, and everything was fine.

I wish everybody could have a great sex life. But unfortunately, many people don't. Too many are stuck in situations that make it impossible for them to go out and enjoy good sex. People are trapped in relationships, marriages, jobs, religions and concerns about keeping up appearances.

In itself, that would not be that big a deal. Too bad for them, but not my problem. Unfortunately, many unsatisfied people are trying to make life miserable for everybody around them, rather than admitting that they are not happy and doing something about it. This may sound simple, but as I discovered, this is one of the biggest malaises of today's society. And a boon for many unscrupulous, opportunistic preachers and politicians.

Lack of sex leads to neurological disorders. A negative perception of sex leads to perversions. Actually, the simplest way to reduce the number of sex offenders would be to make sure they don't get frustrated in the first place. (I call it the preventive approach).

In the past, there used to be valid reasons for sex being "bad". There was a practical need for confining sex to some very specific circumstances, usually meaning marriage. There was the fear of unwanted pregnancy. People were uneducated. Today, people go to school. Most of us can read and write. We have effective birth control, and even the right to safe abortions when birth control fails (although that is a right we would better guard very carefully). Yet, unwanted pregnancies still happen today. At an almost record rate. They really should not. The reason they happen, is because as a society, we are still confused about sex.

Some people complain about sex being everywhere. I don't know where. Sex is talked about a lot, but on TV, nothing is ever really shown (except on some premium cable channels). It is all about suggestion and insinuation.

On the other hand, the insinuation factor itself is interesting. It is true that networks talk more about sex each during ratings season. Sex does sell, beyond the shadow of a doubt.

It is accepted as a fact beyond discussion that we should keep our children from being exposed to sex. That we should hide the very existence of sex from them until they are at least 18 years of age. Of course, it never works that way in practice. Everybody knows that teenagers know more about sex than their parents.

It makes little sense. If sex were considered normal and healthy, and more importantly, if we as adults felt more comfortable with out own sex lives, there really would be no reason to hide anything from children.

Children should not drive cars. But that does not mean that we hide all references to automobiles from them until they are 16.

I have gradually convinced myself that the argument about protecting children, is really being abused by some adults, to legitimize their own insecurities. The argument is used as an excuse to hide and criminalize everything having to do with sex. Of course, that would include nudity and pornography.

This apparently makes it possible to sidestep the Constitution of the United States of America, and to justify the repression and censorship of adults. There seems to be some confusion. Whereas there is a constitutional right to free speech and free expression, to my knowledge there is no constitutional right to be isolated from the free expression of others.