Sexual Harassment

Work Relationships

I have the good fortune of working with a very attractive woman (who is not my wife). Sometimes, I just feel like complimenting her when she comes in, saying something like "You look great today". But I don't. It is too risky; I am her boss.

Instead, when she comes in my office, I look (without staring, because that would be really rude). And I think "Wow, is she beautiful!". But I never mention anything that has to do with appearance.

I would be the very last one to condone sexual harassment in the work place, or anywhere else for that matter.

Sexual harassment laws make sense. The federal statutes make it illegal to do two things:

• Quid pro quo: soliciting sexual favors in exchange for advancement or monetary gain or as a condition for maintaining employment, or discrimination for refusing to provide such sexual favors.
• Creating or maintaining a "hostile" work environment.

Although I am perfectly comfortable with both requirements, I have the following reservations:

• The need for the quid pro quo law is not clear. It seems like this would qualify as a form of intimidation, solicitation of prostitution or kickback scheme, which would have been illegal anyway.
• Demonstrating a hostile work environment is tricky. Any disgruntled or under-performing employee typically feels he or she is the victim of a hostile work environment.

The way the law is implemented raises some issues as well:

• Even when a subject is innocent, the mere fact of being sued (the allegation) can be a devastating and expensive proposition.
• From what I see on TV, juries often seem to have an inherent sympathy for the alleged victim.
• Evidence is hard to come by in he said / she said situations.
• There is always the potential for personal vendettas.

Money is a big issue.

• By allowing punitive damages, the legal system effectively encourages abuse. Both alleged victims and their lawyers can make very significant personal fortunes from sexual harassment lawsuits, even when they are settled out of court.
• This is compounded by the fact that when an individual accused of sexual harassment works for a large company, the company usually gets sued.
• The accuser typically has nothing to lose but a lot to gain. The accused typically has nothing to gain, but plenty to lose.

Practical Work Environments

To play it safe, large companies often ban anything that may even make any kind of remote reference to sex, including calendars that show attractive human beings, even when they are fully clothed. An exception is made for family pictures. Pictures of Colorado, Schloss Neuschwanstein in the Tyrolian Alps, or military airplanes are completely safe.

I cannot help but notice that religion is tolerated much more freely. Several of co-workers have crosses and other religious symbols in their offices, or psalms as screen savers on their laptops.

I don't. I don't find them appropriate.

Men and women are not encouraged to socialize much at work. Actually, some work environments can be reminiscent of churches in times past, with men on one side and women on the other.

I have, on occasion, hugged a male coworker. There is no way I would take that chance with a female.

It is a good idea never to go to lunch with someone from the other sex, without a chaperon.

A colleague of mine claims he never looks a woman in the eye at work. I believe he is overdoing it.

Although in principle, sexual harassment laws apply equally to men and to women, reality does not confirm that.

Some of the hype is unfortunate, because the system can feed the unfortunate image of women as victims, or at least as human beings who need to be treated with special precautions.

Some women's groups realize this dilemma. The National Organization for Women (NOW) never took an official position on Paula Jones' lawsuit against the president of the United States of America.

My attitude in business is: respect women, don't pursue office romances, and make sure you have no enemies anywhere. It works.

These are things I would do anyway, because they are in my nature.

In the end, you simply have to know and trust the people you work with.